Paul Newman was one of the most desired leading men of Hollywood. Desired by the directors eager to work with him and desired by millions of women around the world. But from 1958 until his death 50 years later, Paul Newman was a one-woman man, husband of his equally famous wife, Joanne Woodward. Their love was as undeniable as it was unusual for Hollywood marriages. And the source of one of my favorite quotes of all time:
As I discuss in this week’s video, Paul Newman could have had hundreds of women in his lifetime, yet one love was enough for him for most of his life. Is this a contradiction? Can a man be so very masculine on the one hand, inspiring awe and desire among those in his audience, yet also be faithful to his wife?
It turns out, as I show in my survey of more than 1,500 US adults in March of 2021, that the most masculine men—those who see themselves as 5 out of 5 on a scale of masculinity—are also the most likely to both desire sexually exclusive relationships and to commit to be faithful. In this way, these very masculine men are more like the average woman than they are like all other men.
In my effort to learn how to be very masculine—to upgrade myself from a 4 to 5 out of 5 on masculinity—I’m fortunate that this is one lesson I’ve already learned. After 31 years of blissfully faithful marriage, I don’t have to stretch myself to embrace this type of masculinity. But I still need to stretch myself to see that this is the very definition of masculinity. And perhaps you do, too. Hopefully my data can convince you as it did me that the very masculine men among us are faithful precisely because they are masculine, not despite being so.
In other words, we work hard to earn the love of a good steak!
Resources:
Enjoy Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, the highest-grossing film of 1969!
Note: Thank you for visiting The Year of Living Manly, my one-year project to learn more about masculinity as it is really lived by the 41% of men in the US who consider themselves very masculine. Please subscribe to this page so you will get my weekly updates or if you already subscribe, please forward this to someone you think would like to join the journey.